Archivos de October, 2006
1. Girls don’t like boys, girls like cars and money
We all know about this one. It is the reason you never see a really hot woman riding the bus or standing in line at the local soup kitchen. Nearly every bad event in your life will usually be followed by losing your girlfriend. Wreck your car? Lose your house? Expect to get “the call”.
2. They know within the first two minutes whether or not they are going to sleep with you
I am not exactly sure what it is, hell, not even our greatest scientific minds can figure this one out, but every woman you meet judges you on the first two minutes. She immediately knows whether or not you will be hitting the skins later on that night, or ever for that matter. It is strange how this works, but if you corner a woman who has already decided not to sleep with you, she will admit to it.
1. Interstellar Bounty Hunter
While it is true that bounty hunters do not usually get wookies, there are plenty of other perks to this job. You get to fly through space at insane rates of speed hunting down strange alien criminals and bitch slapping Jedis. Now tell me, in what other profession would you be allowed to bitch slap a Jedi?
2. Evil Super Villain
We all know you get the castle and cool toys, as well as the ever popular laughing manically thing, but what I did not mention before is that you also get to be infamous. If the great Chevy Chase taught us anything, it is that being infamous is ten times better than being famous.
1. “You could stand to lose a little weight.”
This is the number one reason most men get stabbed by their significant others. A woman and her weight are not to be taken lightly, no pun intended. Only a fool will put in his two cents on this subject. It is a good way to ensure that you will never see that pussy again.
2. “Yes, I did kill your cat”
Even if it was an accident, you must lie to the death. If it was on purpose it is a good idea to keep that lie going even after death. If you ever find yourself with a dead cat on your hands, remember these three words; “hide the body”.
1. You need a castle
Preferably one in the mountains of some remote eastern European country. When shopping for a good stronghold, always remember to look for proper dungeon space, good schools, and a self destruct option. A skull on the exterior announcing your evilness to all visitors is optimal. Make sure you opt for full coverage homeowners insurance, as the self destruction option will inevitably be put to use at some time during your career.
2. You need an army of ninjas
A lot of villains overlook this. You must be able to back up your demands with good old fashioned ass kicking’s, the kind of ass kicking’s that can only be delivered by roving gangs of rogue ninjas. Make sure you do not hire ninjas without reputable references, as most ninjas on the market nowadays are just out of work pirates in black costumes.
Buenas Tardes amigos,
Les debo una gran disculpa, tengo un mes desaparecido de por acá. Y es que vaya cambios que mi vida ha tenido, gracias a Dios todo ya comienza a estabilizarse, y mucho mejor que antes, los cambios como siempre, son para bien aunque nos sacudan las estructuras que hemos hecho.
Bueno cumpliendo con la promesa pero con un poco de retraso tenemos nuevo header y así será cada mes. Quiero dar la bienvenida a una posible cantidad de nuevos lectores, mis alumnos. Alumnos míos, Bienvenidos al Lounge, los invito a comentar y participar!!.
Ademas tenemos “nuevo” logo. Esto es para darle la bienvenida a mi más reciente proyecto (resultado de los cambios en mi vida)… Creixems Web Studio, los invito a que visiten el sitio, que es primo de éste, y me hagan sus comentarios.
Bien tenemos que poner esto al día sres, a mis amigos autores, muchas gracias por cubrir mi falta estos días, pero el momento de empezar a llenar esto es ahora. Así que espero artículos, completos y buenos, como los que saben hacer!! (Felicitaciones Fresa por el de Linux).
El último que puse lo encontré en la web y lo considero uno de los artículos más graciosos que haya leído en mucho tiempo.
Finalmente les comento que a lo largo de los próximos posts estaré hablando sobre mi última adquisición literaria: La Bilia del Diseñador Digital. Un libro muy completo que reccoge el proceso de diseño digital tanto para impresos como para web, se ve una lectura refrescante y llena de conocimiento.
Hasta la próxima!
1. You will have more friends
Peter Parker was a social outcast. Norman Osborne was the popular kid. Reed Richards was a dorky scientist. Victor Von doom was a rich socialite. Anyone else sensing a pattern here? Everyone wants to get a little piece of the evil. It is like Starburst.
2. You get to laugh maniacally
Good guys don’t get to do this. No one has ever heard Superman or Batman laughing like a maniac and no one ever will. Trust me, this is something everyone wants to do. It is strangely liberating. While you may pass chances to do this every once in a while during your civilian life, you will never get the quantity of opportunities that come with a career in villainy.
